He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
