Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
