so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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