The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
