He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
