What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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