no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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