How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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