Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
