I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
