I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
