He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
