Me. At least after what I've been through.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
