...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize