To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
