Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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