p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
