alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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