i already hear my dad disowning me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
