you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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