either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
