you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
