You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
