I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
