Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
