I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Gay?
German.
Pity.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
