There was a lot of him and a little penis
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
