addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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