Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
tell me about the fingering
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