Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
