I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
