We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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