But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
