He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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