Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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