when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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