i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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