Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
