therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
