Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
