How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
