Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
