I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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