i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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