is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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