is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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