Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
