I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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