wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
