There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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