Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
