Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
