It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
