i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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