Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize