im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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