You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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