You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
