dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
