I can tuck mytits in my pants
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
