Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
