That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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