you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize