Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
