is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
